So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
