the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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