Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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