"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
