Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
