Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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