There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
