you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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