well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My feet surprised me
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