Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
