This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
How external is "for external use only"?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
