Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
