My hand turned me down
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
