my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
