So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
