I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
