About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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