I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
