i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
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