cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
