We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
