I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
