I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
