ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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