my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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