first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
