I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
