Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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