All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
