i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
