is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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