it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I haven't been this sober since birth.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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