I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
