a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
