I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
