Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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