i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
