Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
