I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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