I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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