After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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