The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Brb crying the tears of my youth
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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