why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish you could order shots online.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Well I just put wine in my tea
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
