I love how my cats smell like pot.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
