seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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