oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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