My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You need a sexual gate keeper
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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