why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
