I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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