guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
